Assertiveness
“You should be more assertive.” This is a common phrase that you may have heard, but what exactly does it mean, and how can you put it into action?
Assertiveness is a social and communication skill that can be learnt and practised. It is associated with self-confidence, improved communication and honest relationships. Assertiveness is a means of expressing your needs and communicating, in such a way that you respect both yourself and others.
It’s easier to see what makes assertiveness different when it’s compared to other types of communication. There are three main types of communicating:
- Being aggressive
- Being assertive
- Being passive / non-assertive
Aggressive behaviour and communication violates the other person’s rights, involves attacking, blaming, judging and controlling. It is based on the aggressive person’s need to have their own needs met at the expense of others.
Assertive behaviour means being firm and standing up for your own rights and those of others. This is done in a way that is calm, direct and positive.
Non-assertive / passive communication is apologetic, reserved, and self limiting. Some consequences of non assertive behaviour are; anxiety low self-esteem, depression, anti-social or aggressive behaviour.
