What to do

Helping a friend of family member who is having suicidal thoughts

Talking:

If you know of someone who is talking about suicide or showing other warning signs, don’t wait to see if he or she starts to feel better – TALK ABOUT IT. Asking someone if he or she is having thoughts about suicide can be difficult. You can try saying:
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking a lot about wanting to be dead. Have you been having thoughts about hurting or killing yourself?”

Talking openly and matter-of-factly about suicide can help in many ways.

• The person may feel less alone, less isolated and more cared for and understood.
• The person may see another solution.
• You can get help for the person.

Listening:

• Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.
• Listen without judgement. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether their feelings are good or bad.
• Don’t lecture on the value of life. For the suicidal person their perception of life may be that it is ‘worthless’.
• Offer reassurance that you are there and that you care. Do not offer unrealistic assurance.
• Stay close and don’t leave them alone.

Taking action:

• Get involved, become available and show interest and support.
• Don’t be sworn to secrecy as you may need to involve others. You may have to alert a professional, someone in authority or a family member.
• If possible, get family and friends involved. Have them remove suicidal means, such as pills, ropes, knives or guns.